Can I be honest with you? I actually got the idea to start my blog back in 2016.  

When I told my husband about my plans, he thought it was a great idea too; I enjoyed writing and merging that with a business perspective might really be a rewarding experience for me.

So, I registered a domain name, picked out a theme for my blog, drafted my first few blog posts, and then…didn’t hit publish on a single article for almost three years.

What was going on?

I mean, I was working on my blog per se. I was always making little mechanical or aesthetic adjustments, and would constantly bring up to my husband how excited I was, and after just a few more tweaks, my blog would be up and running. How in the world did I let three whole years slip by?

I began to notice that it wasn’t just the blog. There were other areas of my life that were also in various states of half-done.

To give you a taste, here’s a (small) list of all the things I said I was going to do, but never got done:

Goal: Weight Loss
Action: Signed up for yoga and paid for a 3-month membership
Outcome: Only went twice

Goal: Spend more time with in-laws
Action: Stop by on all major holidays
Outcome: Ended up skipping both Thanksgiving and Christmas

Goal: Eat out less
Action: Find some quick and easy dinner recipes on Pinterest to make
Outcome: A pizza is on the way to house right now as I am writing this post

Goal: Read more books
Action: Signed up for an audiobook subscription
Outcome: To date, currently have 15 unused audiobook credits and counting

Sound familiar to anyone?

Other than getting up and going to work every day, I felt like I was failing at everything I wanted to do.

With each passing year and not seeing any of my goals met, my self-esteem started to feel the effects. I became guided by a hurtful, yet unspoken, feeling of “I’ll never be good at anything, so why bother trying?”

It got so bad that I actually gave up trying new things altogether. A glass of wine poured to the top and my favorite series set to auto-play on Netflix, and that about summed up my evening and weekend life for almost two years.

I felt like life, and everyone else, was passing me by. Everyone always seemed more accomplished in their careers, more established in their relationships, and overall happier in their day-to-day lives.

What was going on? I had the best intentions, why didn’t I have anything to show for it?

Fear & Disappointment

I came to realize that there were two things holding me back, fear and disappointment. Not fear of success, but the fear of disappointment. You see, up until this point, in my eyes, I had never really been successful at anything. Yes, I had a career, but I always was aware of a nagging sense that it didn’t really make my happy on any deeper level.

I had a notion that things could be better than I thought, but I was also afraid that things could turn out worse than what I feared.

I took my failures very personally, and overtime built up a wall of protection through inaction. I didn’t want to be disappointed in myself or in the outcome, and was in many ways stalling.

I didn’t really believe I could do it, and unbeknownst to me, I was acting that belief out in my daily life.

Getting Your Motivation Back

Getting to a mental, emotional, and spiritual space where you can set a goal and actually achieve takes patience, persistence, commitment, and hard work. There is no secret or easy way.

If you’ve been sitting on your dreams or goals for weeks (or even years), here are a few tips to help you get started and keep going.

1. CREATE A SCHEDULE
“Wake up with determination. Got to bed with satisfaction.” -Unknown

When I got fed up with getting nowhere in my life, one of the first things I did was get serious about planning. I took the route of getting a bullet journal, and creating my own personal daily schedule. For me, it wasn’t about sticking to the plan perfectly, but about feeling a sense of direction at the beginning of my day, and a sense of accomplishment at the end.

Schedules, planners, calendars, daily reminders, exist for a reason-because they work. It’s a great way of creating personal accountability. It’s not about getting every single thing you write down done, but about feeling good about what you were able to do one day, and using that as motivation for the next.

2. STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS
“Everything in life is easier when you don’t concern yourself with what everybody else is doing.” -Unknown

Starting my blog was the first hard part, not feeling terrible about the fact that I had wasted almost three years of my time, and that everyone else out there in the blogging world was so far ahead of me was the second.

Comparing yourself to others creates guilt and shame, which are honestly, two emotions that won’t get you anywhere. 

No matter when you start, there is always going to be someone further ahead than you, or farther behind than you. So quit the comparison game. Constantly comparing yourself to others can be a major motivation killer.

3. LET THE GOOD ‘FEELINGS’ ROLL
“Whatever is good for the soul, do that.” -Unknown

Remember that feeling you got when you read an inspiring book, or watched your favorite character make it at the end of a movie? You felt enough feelings of inspiration to power you through a whole week! Whether that’s referring back to an inspirational book, or re-watching a good movie, keep the good feelings going.

Inspiration is a powerful form of motivation. Even if it’s subscribing to your favorite blogger for some inspirational tips (ahem), or watching a few of your favorite YouTubers best videos, allow yourself permission to feel good and be inspired.

4. BE PREPARED FOR THE NAYSAYERS
“Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you’ll be criticized anyway.” -Eleanor Roosevelt 

Honestly, I didn’t tell anyone for months, not even my closest friends or family, that I had quit my job to start a blog. When people would ask how work was going, I would give vague responses like, “oh, same old, same old,” or “everything’s fine.” I was too afraid of what everyone would think or say about me. I could hear them now, “How could she leave her career?” “She wants to be a writer after all this time!” “I hope she doesn’t expect any help from us if she fails.” Ouch!

Big dreams oftentimes come with even bigger critics, and sometimes, the people closest to us have the hardest time understanding our dreams and accepting our life choices. Embrace your dreams anyway. Other people’s opinions don’t decide how things will turn out, you do.

5. FIND SUPPORT
 “Having a support system is like having a safety net below you at all times.” -Meryl Hershey Beck

Sometimes going it alone can be, well, lonely. Isolation is oftentimes where depression and worthlessness can set in. It’s where you can begin to feel like you don’t matter, and you have nothing valuable to contribute to anyone or anything around you.

There are so many private and social resources out there like books, apps, and online support groups, there is no reason why you have to do this alone. Find support in a person or space where you can talk openly about your milestones, and candidly about your setbacks.

Stay connected to others in the struggle. You’d be surprised how many people are going through the same thing, and feeling the same way as you.

6. GO AFTER HOW YOU WANT TO FEEL VS. HOW YOU FEEL
“Acknowledge all of your small victories. They will eventually add up to something great.” -Kara Goucher

I was so caught up in how bad, depressed, and sad I was feeling about never getting anything done, that the thought of actually achieving my dreams felt like a cruel joke. I became so consumed with how I was feeling, that I stopped believing I could or would ever feel any differently.

My advice for this is to give yourself a few early wins. Whether that’s going out to buy a pretty journal to start your planning, giving up drinking soda for a whole day to begin your weight loss journey, or waking up an hour earlier to have a cup of coffee and start a daily meditation practice, give yourself a reminder of how it feels to feel good.

7. TOUGHEN UP, YOUR GONNA NEED TO MAKE SOME SACRIFICES
“The most important decision about your goals is not what you’re willing to do to achieve them, but what you are willing to give up.” -Dave Ramsey

The time I spent drinking, getting buzzed, and then waking up the next morning in a pseudo-haze with a burgeoning headache, could quite honestly be better spent. Once I started to be honest about the impact alcohol was having on my life, I began to make some tough decisions. If I wasn’t going to work on my blog, then I wasn’t going to drink either.

We all have habits that deep down we know might potentially be holding us back. For me it was drinking, for you it might be binge watching your favorite tv show, playing video games, or partying too hard on the weekends. I’m not saying go cold turkey, but find a compromise that works best for you. If you can be committed to your excuses, believe me, you can be committed to your goals in just the same way.

8. DON’T BE EMBARRASSED IF YOU FAIL, EVERYONE IS DOING IT
“Being a successful person is not necessarily defined by what you have achieved, but by what you have overcome.”- Fannie Flagg 

We all fail. I mean everyone. There is no avoiding it. If someone leads you to believe that their success in life was the result of one smooth and well-guided decision after another, then I have a secret for you-they’re probably lying.

For some reason, we all have a need to make our mistakes seems smaller than what they are and our setbacks seem less devastating than what they were. I get it. You want to avoid the embarrassing feeling of somehow you’re not smart enough, not qualified enough, not athletic enough, or just plain not good enough.

It takes real courage to own your mistakes. Especially when people have already given up on you, and laugh at you every time they see you at it again. Don’t let that discourage you. The people who have the most beautiful and inspiring stories are those who embraced their setbacks, and built their success on the back of their failures.

9. EMBRACE YOUR OWN UNIQUE INTERESTS
“Be yourself, everyone else is taken.” -Oscar Wilde

Once I stopped being embarrassed about the things that I liked, and started embracing my own interests, my confidence grew. What others thought of me mattered less and less, and what I thought of myself mattered more and more.

Embracing your own interests is a great source of confidence. For me, it was starting a blog, for you, it might be opening a tattoo parlor, starting a yoga class, or building your own computer. Whatever your interests, pursue your curiosity and embrace your own individuality.

10. FAILURE ISN’T FAILING, STAYING THE SAME IS
“There is no failure except in no longer trying.” – Chris Bradford

It took me several years, countless gym memberships, an expensive yoga mat, a kettlebell weight set for the house, and an endless supply of matching gym clothes (that I don’t wear) before I was able to stick to a weight loss program that actually worked for me. Oddly enough, it wasn’t until I tried a sugar-free diet that I was able to see a weight loss program through to the end. Who knew!?! 

The point is there is no success without failure, and no failure that isn’t worth the success. No one knows, not even you, what you are capable of achieving unless you keep trying.