Anyone who’s ever climbed the corporate ladder, and then slid back down as fast as they could know that a corporate career is the ultimate roadblock, the true barrier between who you are, and who you want to be.

I sat slightly hunched over in the doctor’s office, tired of trying to keep my back straight at the end of an examining table.

My doctor sighed heavily as she reviewed my results from my recent MRI and bloodwork. For the past year I had been suffering from chronic migraines, severe abdominal issues, and insomnia.

She looked up from her computer and said with a subtle surprise in her voice, “Everything looks fine. All your test results came back normal.”

I hunched over even further. Yes, it was good news, but it didn’t really offer any insight into my symptoms. My doctor looked just as confused, as I felt defeated.

For a few moments, we just sat there, not saying anything before she broke the awkward silence with, “Do you like your job?”

I was a quiet for a few minutes, unsure if I should answer my doctor honestly. I slowly lowered my gaze, too embarrassed to look her in the eye, “No, I don’t like my job…Actually, I hate it.”

The Corporate Culture Con

If you’re here questioning if your stress is really from your career or not, let me help you with any lingering doubts you might have – yes, it is.

One of the most successful cons the corporate culture was able to pull was to paint career-related stress as a figment of your imagination.

Those who openly make the connection between their personal stress and their professional career are branded as individuals who ‘don’t have what it takes.’

It doesn’t matter if your workload is impossible, your boss unresponsive, or your HR department too slow-moving. Companies re-market those concerns as the complaints of employees who don’t know how to manage their time effectively or multi-task efficiently.

One of the biggest mistakes I made throughout my career was to constantly blame myself for not being able to “handle” the stress of it all better.

I saw my inability to cope with my increasingly demanding work schedule as a personal failure.

It was only after my physical, mental, and emotional health began to decline to a point that it could no longer be ignored, that I began to even consider the possibility that maybe my career was the problem.

I had spent so many years enmeshed in the corporate culture, that I had lost touch with myself. It would ultimately take me leaving my job, before I was able to create a balanced lifestyle for myself again.

If your career has led to a breakdown of your life, here are a few simple things you can do to get back control and regain a true sense of self again.

1. Start A Mindfulness Activity

Some people try yoga, some try meditation, others walking, I tried massage therapy.

This may seem a bit unconventional by some standards, but don’t underestimate the power of the mind-body connection.

Massages straddle the line between self-indulgence and self-care. I firmly place it in the mindfulness camp, because it’s an activity that promotes tuning out your outer stressors in order to gain access to your inner senses.

Besides, at the time, I was so frazzled from my career that I couldn’t bear the thought of adding another commitment to my schedule, so I went for a low maintenance activity with no upkeep.

I booked a few appointments with a massage therapist whose practice focused on the connection between the mind and body. We began each session by talking about how I was feeling, how work was going, and if I had any aches and pains in particular parts of my body.

During one particular session, after I had rattled on about all my work problems, she responded with a soft smile, “you know, you already have all the answers to your problems.”

Believe me when I tell you, her message did not sink in at the time. All I could think to myself was, “If I had all the answers, didn’t she know I wouldn’t be here right now.” It wasn’t until much later, when I began to seriously contemplate leaving my career, that I began to reluctantly accept the subtle truth in here words, I did have all the answers to my problems –the problem was, I just didn’t like the options.

“There is a simple realization from which all personal improvement and growth emerges. This is the realization that we, individually, are responsible for everything in our lives, no matter the external circumstances.” —Mark Manson

When it comes to mindfulness, it’s not so much important what you choose to do, as it is finding an activity that helps you to reposition your perspective so that you can gain a better understanding of yourself from a place of internal insight, with no external influences.

A good mindfulness practice, whether it’s massage therapy, yoga, or meditation, is one that helps you to see past your problems and recognize the connection you have to their solutions.

2. Take a Break to Rest and Rethink Your Career

The truth about taking breaks in our current work culture is that it is unofficially frowned upon to take too much time off.

I once worked with a colleague who had been with the company for 18 years, and as such, had accrued a good bit of vacation time. She saved her days, and at the end of the year, used it to take a few weeks off.

When she was out, our VP stopped in for a visit, and asked how long she would be out for. When I told him a few weeks, he remarked, “Wow, if she can take that kind of time off, maybe we don’t really need her position here.”

Now at the time, his remark didn’t particularly stand out to me in any way, as he was known for making off-handed comments in general. However, on her first day back to the office, she was unceremoniously let go.

Now her position was cut due to budgetary reasons, but her long vacation probably only helped to cement the company’s decision, or at least ease their conscious.

As a result of this, I began taking shorter periods of time off from work. Part of this was due to insufficient coverage for my position, and part of it was because her fate always loomed large in my mind.

I didn’t use these small, fragmented breaks as mini vacations (the years of stress from my job had overflowed into my personal life and I could hardly relax when I was off anyway), but rather as a space to really think about where my career was going, and if I wanted to head in that same direction.

Take a break from your day-to-day routine, and use that time and space to reflect on the course of your career and life.

While time off is not a permanent solution to your problems, it may be the break you need. The small crack in the window for which you can get a tiny glimpse of what you want your future to look like, and start formulating a plan to get there.

3. Follow Your Interests

One of the side effects of burn out is that not only does it cause you to lose sight of yourself, but it also causes you to lose your connection to yourself.

This is one of the reasons you’ll often hear people who are burned out, or hate their jobs, say things like, “I don’t know what else I can do,” or “I don’t know what I’m good at.”

I know because I was one of them. This is an example of how far removed my stressful career took me from myself:

I’ve always loved books, more specifically I’ve always loved biographies. I write and read in my free time, and even got a degree in English Literature.

Do you know, one of the excuses I use to tell myself and other people why I couldn’t leave my job was because I didn’t “know” what else I could do.

I wasn’t so much clueless, as I was just completely out of touch. I considered my hobby of writing and reading as just that, a hobby, and not anything I could seriously pursue as a career option.

Like a painter with an untrained eye, I could only see my future in a corporate dream, not a creative one.

It wasn’t until I randomly came across a post for starting a blog that the idea literally hit me that maybe I could pursue writing as a career choice.

Chances are, you’re leaving yourself clues about what you should really be doing with your life.

Your outlet is the gateway to your potential. What you do for free is probably something that has income earning power, so don’t write it off until you seriously examine your options.

Your interest gives you the clearest glimpse into yourself. A window into which you can see what you’re good at, and what you can get better at with a little time, effort, and dedication.

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When I was burned out from my career, it took me a surprisingly long time to recover and find my sense of direction in life again.  This is because regaining your sense of self is not just a healing process, but also a discovery process.

Don’t rush it. Take your time to work through your stress, anxiety, and career disappointment. Give yourself plenty of space to rest, heal, and grow, because the person you’re looking to find, is at the end of that journey.